opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
