So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
