She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
