how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize