when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
