he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
