you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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