I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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