Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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