I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize