Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
