WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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