Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
