I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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