She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
