like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
we should paint friendship bongs
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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