i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts