he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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