I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
