I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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