Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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