I'm drive I can fine osifer
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize