i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
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I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Your cock deserves a montage
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
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I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
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