I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
