He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize