Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
