so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
