"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
