Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
