You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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