when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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