well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
