Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
