brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
