I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
