idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
