Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
