..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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