zippers are such a cool invention
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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