im drinking this country out of the recession.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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