That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize