went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
