Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
