Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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