I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
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Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just pee around me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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