he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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