I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
