This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
