she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
