8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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