i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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