I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
