He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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