She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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