No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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