Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize