the day after is always just damage control
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
