are you still at the devil's house?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
