It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
