There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
