i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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