Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
