I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
